I recently read a chapter of a Psychology text book that asked talked about 5 paramount factors that determine the potential success of a relationship (this could mean intimate partner or friend, or any general relationship). Those factors were:
Proximity - how close the people involved live to each other; usually the closer the better
Physical attractiveness - a relationship works better if the individuals find each other physically attractive
Similarity - relationships work better if the individuals share similarities in personality and behavior
Exchange - relationships work better when people feel like they are needed, appreciated, or rewarded by the
other party
Intimacy - this is the legitimate closeness that one person feels to the other, the closer, the better
At the time of the study where these factors were established it was before the dawn of the internet and email and well before the technological boom of nuances such as social networks, text messaging, and cell phones that (essentially) everyone has and do (figuratively) ERVERYthing. The question posed by the text book is what impact has such technological advances had on the establishment of relationships; specifically the previously mentioned factors. I found it important to make the following inclusions: the industrial era is long since dead, the technological revolution is not only increasing but accelerating, we are no longer even living in the computer era, we have in fact entered the cellphone era.
This is my answer...
Proximity - the perceived proximity is certainly much closer than before. Consider this: I could text a friend in Chicago from New York on my cell phone, email business partners in Hong Kong, and send a Facebook "friend" request to an attractive female in LA all from my cell phone with a few minutes and without ever looking up. This makes things and people feel physically much closer to each other than they actually are due to the ease of mobile, globe, and "instant" communication. Effect = Positive
Physical Attractiveness - all I have to say about this is... "maybe its Maybelene, maybe its Photo Shop" Effect = Negative
Similarity - This is along the same vibe as proximity. Thanks to the internet we have access to music, movies, and hobbies that we would otherwise not have. Thus, I can watch hundreds of movies and listen to thousands of songs that someone else also enjoys. Our enjoyment in these things is somewhat cheapened by their ease of access. The internet and cell phones may have slightly cheapened some hobbies, but they have opened countless avenues for new ones. Effect = Generally Positive
Exchange - Talk has always been cheap. Appreciation only seems condescending (which will more likely piss off than cheer up the person you're patronizing) unless it is sincere. We crave its frequency, yet the more frequent, the less sincere it appears. The internet has made this exponentially more true, and legal ramifications are just now being implemented. It is ridiculously easy to type something without thinking, not just an entire racist blog post (for example) but a threatening Facebook status, or a harassing (joking or not) text message can land you a fine spot in county! Face to face sentiments are still (and always will be) far better than anything else. Your effort shows... so hand write that birthday card or call your mother on Christmas instead of leaving another token Facebook comment. Effect = Negative
Intimacy - I think that the internet has increased a perceived intimacy that others have with each other. You can live half way across the world and text message each other every 20 seconds, but that does not change the fact that when you want to hold someone in your arms or go to a dive bar and discuss the "good-ol-days" you will not be able to with any kind of reasonable convenience. However, if you feel close to them then you will act accordingly, whether you live down the street from each other or 5,000 mi away. Effect = Positive
Impact on Relationships in General - Reading the above, 2/5 of the factors (I thought) had a positive effect on relationships, 2/5 had a negative effect, and one had a generally positive effect. What does this tell us? To be honest... essentially nothing! There has been almost no-effect, or more accurately balancing effects, of technology on the factors of relationships. If anything it has been only slightly positive. Use technology to your benefit as far as relationships are concerned, but be smart and don't end up on dateline! ... or consequently go to jail.
