This was the title of a recent article in the magazine Psychology Today. This post will illustrate my thoughts on the article and may not represent the author's original intentions or ideas. Essentially, this is my take on the 6 Clues. For the author's take, please read the full article HERE. Throughout the following there are selected quotations from the article.
Intelligence - "The biggest boon" The author talks about recognizing whether a person is able to distinguish the difference between what they "think" about certain topic or issue and how they "feel" about it. The author also mentions taking note of how a person constructs an argument. You can gather a lot of information about a person's intelligence by having simple conversation with them and asking them what they think about a certain topic. The topic does not have to be something that is a "hot" or "taboo" issue, rather, in fact it may be better, if it is something nonchalant and merely a friendly debate or brainstorm session. The observant listener will be able to determine a great deal about the speaker's personality if by taking note of the importance and influence of various elements such as emotion vs reason, information vs assumption, the organization of their logic, belief systems that come into play, and application of general wisdom as well as knowledge of the subject being discussed.
Drive - "the goals you set" You can also learn much about one's personality by examining the their goals and how they plan to achieve them. Are their goals realistic? Are they attainable? Are they ambitious or conservative? How willing is the person to make sacrifices in order to obtain their goals? "An unhealthy person rages against bad luck"
Happiness - "the capacity for finding satisfaction" Is the person content? Are they content with being content? Do they seem to be despair over anxiety, misfortune, and struggle? The great Irvin D. Yalom states in Staring at the Sun that he asks himself, of his patients, if there is something that they are doing that is hindering their pursuit of happiness or disabling capacity for satisfaction. Yalom would say, and I agree, that it is largely important to remove these things; much more so than merely attempting to fend them off with supplements of additional happiness. "How realistic are they about personal weakness?" and "How willing are they to act in alignment with their values at the risk of criticism"
Goodness - "how do they behave in difficult situations?" and "How well do they calm themselves?" It should be painfully obvious that a person shows their true character when under pressure. The learning about another human being by assessing their behavior during struggles or debate on controversial topics can be paramount. The side effect of this is the second quotation. Once distress has occurred, what do they do about it? Does pain feed off panic and snowball into a reckless anxiety attack? Do they, how do they, and how well do they, resolve the distress that may onset during a "difficult" situation?
Friendship - "The capacity for reciprocity" Not only can you determine a great deal about a person based on the behaviors and personalities of those they call friends, but how they treat, interact with, and behave around their friends is also a key point of their own character.
Intimacy - "The capacity for vulnerability and trust" Similar to friendship, how does one interact with, behave with, and act towards someone they are intimately involved with? How passionate is someone about their actions, beliefs, and lifestyle? How trusting are they of others? Do they fear commitment? Are they always defensive in every manner of life? "Even a person whose early experience was less than ideal will reveal in tone and attitude—anger, wistfulness, regret—whether they've declared a truce with history."
NOTE: These characteristics are not only beneficial in learning about others, but they are also largely insightful into the examination of our own character sets. Consider it to be self-therapy. Each time you use a psychological tool or tactic to examine someone else, use the same method to examine your own conscience and behaviors. The result will be a greater development in each of the characteristics listed above as well as an increased ability to share the joy and feel the pain of everyone and everything else you come into contact and interact with.
This blog is not sponsored or supported in any way by Psychology Today. I do not own any part of the magazine nor am I sponsored or benefited by the publicity of the magazine or it's authors. I do not exclusively endorse, support, or receive benefit from any of the authors contributing to Psychology Today or the magazine's enterprise.
No comments:
Post a Comment